And it was all yellow
When I was in middle school, I bought Coldplay’s album “Parachutes.” A real, true, literal CD from Walmart. I listened to that thing over and over.
I can remember how the whole album made me feel, but in particular how the song “Yellow” made me feel. Have you noticed that it’s made some kind of comeback this year? I’m hearing it everywhere! And every time I hear it, I feel like 13-14 year old Kiersten.
Feeling like teenage Kiersten hasn’t always been a pleasant experience, though. Sometimes she shows up at the most inopportune times presenting me with some sort of pain that we never did get around to healing. She shows up in disagreements with my husband, when things feel unstable in any way, or when my body doesn’t do what I think it should be able to do.
Most of us have heard of being “triggered.” Simply put, it’s when we have a bigger response to something than what’s called for. It’s when you suddenly have emotional distress when you’re in a situation that reminds you, consciously or subconsciously, of something painful from your past.
I recently learned about Deb Dana and her work. She is a counselor and author who specializes in complex trauma, and she developed the theory of “Glimmers.” Here’s her definition:
“[Glimmers are] small moments when our biology is in a place of connection or regulation, which cues our nervous system to feel safe or calm.”
The thought is this: the more we train our brain to notice the glimmers all around us every single day, the easier it will be for our nervous systems to regulate. A trigger signals potential threat, danger, and pain to the survival brain. A glimmer signals safety, peace, joy, love, and connection to our brains.
So, as a therapeutic practice, this would be used to redirect you when you are triggered. When you notice you're finding yourself in triggered, you turn towards yourself in compassion. And then you engage with a glimmer to help your nervous system regulate again. Isn't that incredible? It feels so accessible and simple to me.
No matter our level of dysregulation or our experience with trauma, we all live in a world with constant stimuli and demands. And that can be a lot to take in, especially for us soft ones. At some point, we experience hard seasons and pains that leave us feeling disheveled.
BUT we also all have glimmers in our lives every single day. Learning to look for and notice them quite literally affects our nervous systems, which affects our entire bodies and the way we experience our lives.
At the end of the day, what we’re looking for here is presence. And who couldn’t use more presence in their lives?
A practice for caring for yourself
This is a practice that won’t be a one time thing. It’s a practice you can take with you for the rest of your life!
For the sake of this email though, grab a journal or a piece of paper and a pen.
We’re just to be curious investigators.
Can you think of glimmers you experience regularly with each of your 5 senses? Write them as they come to mind.
Take some time to just let your mind wander.
What do you see in your regular life that makes you sigh a happy sigh?
What do you hear that makes you smile?
What do you feel that makes your jaw loosen?
What do you smell that makes your belly soften?
What do you taste that makes you melt into your seat?
Make this an ongoing list, and refer back to it often. Even just the practice of writing and seeing this list shows our brains how much abundance we’re actually living in, and signals peace and presence to our nervous systems even if we're in harder seasons.
Here are some of my personal examples from the last month or so:
Sight: Seeing our puppy play in the yard, and run up to me as fast as she can to show me the amazing stick she just found.
Sound: The sound of the birds that are coming out for spring, or of the hum of my pottery wheel.
Touch: The feeling of my velvet chair that I sit in every morning, or the feeling of my weighted blanket on me at night.
Smell: The smell of my peppermint tea when the boiling water hits the bag, and of my lavender essential oil that I diffuse in the afternoons.
Taste: The taste of the first sip of my morning coffee, or the recent lasagna soup I made for my husband and I on a cold rainy weeknight. (Recipe here!! God bless Jess from The Kitchen Light.)
My husband now looks at me when he can see that I’m relaxing into a moment, smiles, and says, “Glimmer, huh?” And sometimes, I even whisper “glimmer” to myself when I sit in the sun with a cup of tea. :)
A practice for connecting with God
I did something I’ve never done before, and recorded a video for us this month! In this video, I’ll lead us through an imaginative prayer centered around a Scripture where a man is walking in a field, and something glimmers to him. ;) It’s only about 10 minutes. Set aside 10-15 minutes (or more!!) to connect with God. Make some tea, light a candle, grab a blanket, get cozy. I pray it blesses you.
Something lovely
Last summer, my friend Jessi shared Taproot Magazine with me! Their tagline is “Inspiration for Makers, Doers, and Dreamers,” and their website describes their magazine like this: “Taproot Magazine is our ad-free independently published print magazine focused on food, farm, family, and craft.”
I’ve gotten the last couple of issues, and enjoying them has been SUCH a glimmer! The contributors are just everyday people doing things they love doing and sharing about them.
ALSO, have you heard of The Happy Newspaper? It’s a newspaper of only good news and a platform to celebrate all of the wonderful things that are happening in the world! It’s released quarterly, and I’m waiting for my first issue to arrive...very impatiently.
Who doesn’t enjoy getting something happy and glimmery in the mail?
Some of us are deep in the mud of our healing journeys, and some of us are doing pretty okay. Either way, taking the time to notice the good and glimmers in our everyday lives matters, because we matter. Not because we’re projects to be done, or problems to be fixed. But because life is a gift, even when things are hard. The only way to receive it is by living it every single day.
See you next month.
Your Softie Friend,
Kiersten