Covering the Distance
Hi Friends! It’s February. (Obviously, you know that. However, it's very hard to figure out to start an email, and this is just the best I've got.)
I like February. I’m not quite ready for the coziness of winter to be over, and it’s only 28 days. It doesn’t drag on for 31 days, you know? Granted, I do live in a part of the world where winters are mostly mild, so I don’t have much of a dog in the fight.
Even though I like the colder months, I do find myself wanting to do less and less lately. Including connecting with other human beings. It probably comes as no surprise that I’m mostly introverted, and could be at home all day everyday and be as happy as a clam. Buuuuut as it turns out, I need people.
I have a lovely community where I live and I'm very close to my family, but some of my closest friends are long distance friends. You know, the friends I’m most “me” with. They live an hour or more away.
Having my closest friends live so far away used to feel really hard for me. But over time I've started to see that there’s something sweet about a friendship that keeps on going no matter how many miles there are between us. Friendship like that is high, and wide, and deep enough to cover so many things. It covers me when I’m vulnerable. It covers the time we’re apart so that when we’re together again it feels like no time has passed. And it covers the distance between us. Meaning…it will go the distance. It won’t leave or stop because of space or time. It won’t stay because it has to; it stays because it wants to.
I’ve been thinking lately that maybe friendship with ourselves is supposed to do the same thing. Just maybe the friendship we have with ourselves is supposed to cover that kind of distance, too.
Can you even with this card?
A practice for caring with yourself
Where do you feel like a long distance friend to yourself lately? Are there parts of you that feel so far away you aren’t familiar with them anymore? Are there any parts of yourself have you ignored for a while? Any likes, dislikes, hopes, or desires? Do you see yourself as your own friend at all?
I’ve got a special invitation for you.
I want to invite you to find time in your schedule over the next few weeks to go out, and go on a hunt for the perfect card. Go to Target if that’s your thing (Target will never not be my thing), go to a local shop, or even rummage through thrift store! No matter what you choose, make it a special trip, and take your time to find a card that really sticks out to you. It can be serious, beautiful, or hilarious. Or it can say, "Hi, I'm a hug and I'm hugging you," like the one I picked out.
Then, take that card to a special spot - a coffee shop, your favorite spot in your house, a park - and write a letter to yourself that you’d write to a long distance friend.
What do you want to say to her?
What do you miss about her?
What do you hope for her?
What are you proud of her for?
What might she need to hear from someone like you?
How do you want to encourage her?
Then, do whatever you want with your card! Let it be a reminder to you that you don’t have to stay long distance friends with yourself. Coming home to yourself is a good, very good, place to be.
A practice for connecting with God
A lot of us are familiar with Luke 15, the story of the prodigal son. The son that may as well have spit in his father’s face by asking for his inheritance early, basically saying “I want to live as though you’re dead.” He leaves home, squanders it all, comes to his senses, and comes home with his tail between his legs. Before he can even explain, his father runs and embraces him. He covers the distance.
But what about the older brother? I love the way The Message Translation paints his response to the news that his younger brother has returned.
“The older brother stomped off in an angry sulk and refused to join in. His father came out and tried to talk to him, but he wouldn’t listen. The son said, ‘Look how many years I’ve stayed here serving you, never giving you one moment of grief, but have you ever thrown a party for me and my friends? Then this son of yours who has thrown away your money on whores shows up and you go all out with a feast!’"
I can’t say I wouldn’t respond the same way.
But the father finds his other son and says…
“‘Son, you don’t understand. You’re with me all the time, and everything that is mine is yours…’”
Yes, the father ran towards the younger son. But he also left the celebration to find and talk to his older son. He covered the distance that needed to be covered to restore and protect relationship with both of them. And the message he wanted to get across? "Son, this whole time here hasn't been any distance between us. All that I have is yours, too."
I want to invite you to sit with this story at some point this month, and read it like this:
Slowly read Luke 15 in a translation you feel able to connect to.
Close your eyes, and recount the story in your imagination, imagining yourself as the older son. What sticks out to you?
Go through these steps 2 or 3 times. What do you feel the Spirit highlighting for you?
Take a few minutes to sit with, or journal about that. Here are some reflection questions for you to consider if you’d like:
Where, if anywhere, does God feel like a long distance relationship in your life right now?
Where would you like to see God cover the distance for you? Can you write an honest prayer about that?
Considering the father in the story, how do you think God wants to respond to you?
Take a few moments to reflect over the last week or so. Are there any moments that you can see God meeting you in small, quiet ways? If not, that’s okay. Consider being open to seeing Him covering the distance for you in the days ahead.
Is there anything else you’d like to say to God? Is there anything else you sense Him saying to you?
Click the button below to listen to a song by Brady Toops inspired by the story of the prodigal son, if you’d like. Take 3 and a half minutes to sit with your eyes closed letting the song wash over and refresh you, if that feels nourishing today.
Something lovely: a postcard!
My sister-in-law is the most wonderful person, and an incredible artist. She’s been gracious enough to share a piece of her art with us this month!
Below is a downloadable postcard for you to print on some card stock, and mail off to a friend of yours!
Or if printing isn’t an option for you, you can also just download or screenshot the image and attach to an email so that you can still send a lovely message to a friend via email.
Either way, give my sister-in-law a follow! She’s recently been sharing about her mental health journey on her pages. She’s a soft one too, and I’m so proud of her. :)
Download the printable version of the postcard HERE. Once you print and cut it out, draw a line vertically down the center of the back to create your own postcard! Don't forget to put a stamp on it and mail it off. ;)
Or again, just attach the image to an email or text instead.
I LOVE this painting of Brandi's! It reminds me of a storybook illustration. <3
Hey, maybe no one has ever said this to you, but you’re worth going the distance for. Not because you could ever do enough to make yourself worth it, but just because you exist. You’re worth showing up for. I hope that this month you find ways to show up for yourself, and to allow others to show up for you, too. Whatever that looks like for you.
Either way, stay soft. And send or tag me in any pictures of your self-care practice, or you mailing off your postcard! I want to see! See you in March.
Your Softie Friend,
Kiersten